The Price of Spoiling Your Teenager

Imagine having your own room, bathroom, TV,assistance for her father and catching up lost
DVD, computer and music system, set up andhomework in the little spare time she has to
free of charge, for your exclusive use. Yes,herself. Her nature is such that she never
please - bring it on! Adults do not have suchcomplains about not having so many of the
privileges provided, at least not unless they are inaccessories of teenage life. She has never owned
jail; they have to pay for them. It is easy toa TV or DVD player of her own, she has a limited
understand how teenagers of today havesupply of fashionable clothes which she treasures
become so over indulged. Some even have theirand she would be amused if she knew that many
own car; complete with an unlimited gas account,parents would consider her underprivileged.
with all the freedom that necessarily results asIn contrast I have seen nineteen year olds throw
part of such arrangements.childish fits because their parents will not buy
It is debatable whether such grown upthem the latest iPod technology or pay for yet
responsibilities should be inflicted upon a teenager.another ticket to see Rock Vomit in concert. It
The more you give them, the more they have toappears that parenting techniques which include
maintain and care for, the more pressure on theirshowering your teenager with every modern
lifestyle. It is hard enough to cope with all theconvenience come dangerously close to inflicting
unpleasant side effects of adolescence, such asreal and lasting damage on your child.
pimples, awkwardness, puppy fat, and dozens ofThe question is where is this magical line we must
other insecurities; is it really advisable to add moreall take care not to overstep? Is the secret
complications?merely to withhold that last little treat so that
Some of the happier, better adjusted teenagers Iyour teenager is aware that some things are
have come across are those who live away fromworth waiting for? Should privileges be earned and
cities, in a simple environment, where peernot given as routine?
pressure is almost non existent and modern dayThe evidence is clear that teenagers do not
gadgets are in short supply.require an array of gadgets to enjoy a successful
Another case is that of a fifteen year oldadolescence. Nor do they need unlimited access to
teenager who must provide daily care for her sickthe keys of the Jaguar. What they all really need
father. This outstanding young lady cheerfullyand what so few of them ever get is gentle,
sacrifices just about all of her social life andaffectionate but strict parental involvement.
divides her time between providing care and